Finishing my book while moving from the first place I’ve ever allowed my true self out is taking a toll on our marriage in uncomfortable ways that serve as a bridge to a deeper union.
We’ve gotten quite intertwined with two communities on the East Coast, and leaving will affect more than just us.
We are also excited about our future and can’t wait for it to start.
I’m still processing emotions pretty regularly. It is going to take a lot of time to heal my central nervous system after decades of living in a chronic traumatic state of fear, anxiety, and depression.
All previous homes had me believing lies that I was not valuable unless I changed who I am. I essentially had my tongue cut out. Very few have ever known me before, I feel safe now and their stinging tentacles can no longer reach my tender soul with intentions for destruction.
I was married to Bryan for many years before I realized he didn’t have the same threats against me as everyone else. I finally started to develop a sense of trust, albeit very weak.
Bryan knows the art of hugging a porcupine and turning her into a flower. He will write a book and help anyone who needs support in loving their trauma survivor.
I would not be here without him. 
We hoped I’d be done writing by now and the emotional outbursts would slow down as I relive some dark days with freedom of expression. We accept what is as we have developed full trust and God’s perfect timing.
Bryan loves me so much he has to rectify what was intentionally done to me for decades so that I couldn’t use my mind or voice. We also realize the likelihood of cancer returning if I do not let it out.
The mental clarity I am developing outside of a narcissistically abusive environment is incomprehensible.
I want to do for abuse what my great aunt Florence Kendall did for physical therapy. Mine is not the only root in the tree that hosts/ed narcissistic abuse.
For updates on my upcoming book Spoiled, Rotten, Rich, Kid: A Different Kind of Trauma and to see my other books, please stay in touch at https://charlottessoul.com/
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