What was, in my previous marriage, and what I hoped was there, were two vastly different things.

I experienced an internal conflict between what I knew to be true and what I was led to believe. My insecurities took precedence as I allowed my intuition to widdle away. Rather than facing the facts and risking the inevitable pain, denial kicked in and the problems continued to mount around me until life was unbearable.
When the facts deviate from our paradigm, denial is the coping mechanism that serves to provide a false sense of protection.