If you knew how anxious I have been about my impending European vacation with 4 of our 8 children, you’d be like, wait a minute, really?
God was the only one in the room when they shut the vault and filled me with radiation. Others were there but only watching from the camera that connected the rooms, but God was enough.
God was the only one there while I suffered emotional abuse as I was led to believe I was crazy.
God ordained a random meeting for my new husband and me at a book signing in an unknown town that I would one day be blessed to call home.
God gave me a perfect day for my wedding celebration when there was a hurricane aimed at my town.
Why, pray tell, have I accepted the lie that my European trip is up to ME?
He says to be anxious for nothing and let me tell you when I heard I had stage 3 cancer I was like, “No problem, God has me.” He warns against worry, calling it a great sin and I adhere to His heed.
You’d be amazed at the day to day trials I face with 8 kids in varying stages of life, challenges with their other parents (and I don’t mean minor disagreements), the reality of substance abuse in my life over the years, finances and all the rest, but at night I put my head on my pillow and I sleep.
Why then have I allowed the devil to take my family vacation and consume me with the notion that I am the one in charge?
Yes, I must make a decent amount of decisions and have been prepping the family and organizing for months, but somewhere along the lines, I began allowing my peace to become destroyed as I removed God’s sovereignty from the equation.
Well, I’m handing Him back the reins. He does it all better than I do and I get physically ill doing His job. This exercise had been a reminder that while I have been caring greatly for my emotional health and grown in very big ways, there is still a level of control I have not let go of yet.
My new husband Bryan and I have been joking about my being convinced God might be on vacation and that’s why I feel so inclined to do His job. The truth is He has provided for me to go on vacation and I have allowed the devil to wedge his deceitful self into my life and downgrade the joy that I would otherwise have from God’s awesome provision.
Can you relate? When I return I am eager to connect with you and do some Soul Coaching. Sign up for our first session for free to see if we are a good coaching fit.
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