The holidays can amplify pain when we’re not spending them with people we hoped to be with.
Everyone experiences it at some point, but some of us are accepting new realities from painful but necessary boundaries with people who can’t carry the tenderness of our souls in love.
I want to encourage you not to spiral down the ‘poor-me’ path.
Admittedly, when I first experienced the rejection of my family because I had opened up about the abuse I’ve endured from birth, I cried about 90% of every day for three years.
I was feeling sorry for myself, but I was also moving into the space of accepting a very painful reality. I was no longer willing to hide who I am to be included with people who don’t want to be with me, outside the lies and pretenses required to be included in my background.
I made it through the most painful realities and have landed at the place of accepting what I have, which is outside of what I longed for and invested in before now. God has led me to people who love me, and I have accepted my place in a chosen family, realizing how fulfilled I am around people who do not require me to make myself small or hide my passions to have a seat at the table.
After years of the devil telling me I was unworthy of love, I now understand I was surrounded by people who felt undeserving of love and who projected their self-loathing onto me; I served as a scapegoat in a family that teased and put me down to feel better about themselves.
We are smart to accept our situation and make the best of it. If you are having a painful holiday season, I want to encourage you that you’re not alone. You will see so many happy families on social media, and it will feel like everyone else has what you were looking for, but we must all remember that people only post their highlight reels. No one posts pictures of the political fights, silent treatments, drunken escapades, walking on eggshells around emotional immaturity, and slanderous conversations that happen when “loved” ones leave the rooms of toxic families.
The most important lesson I’ve learned in my 56 years is that God is the only One I can completely rely on now and forever. Additionally, I have learned that God‘s presence is all I need to fill my longings. No matter where I am, as long as I let go of my will and receive His perfect provision with gratitude I can have abundant peace.
If the holidays are bringing you pain, please feel my virtual hug, find people who get you and have faith that God has something better for you as long as you look to Him for guidance.
For updates on my upcoming book, The Bible on Narcissistic Abuse, and to see my other titles, please stay in touch at https://charlottessoul.com/
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