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She Calls Me Rachel

By | Charlotte's Blog, Emotional Abuse | One Comment

after years of being a Leah, I was indeed Rachel.She’s one of the wiser, matriarchs in my new church. Every time I see Linda, she makes a conscious effort to get my name right. But she has a mental block and continually says, “Rachel, right?”

She’s not short on memory, even though I gently remind her each time, “No, my name is Charlotte.” Then I ask, “May I share a story with you?”

We sat down in the pew. I began to tell her what the story of Rachel and Leah, from Genesis 29, has meant to me for years. Linda was familiar with the story. Her eyes filled with tears as soon as she realized how God was using her.

I will take a moment and share for those of you who may not be familiar with the story of Jacob’s two wives. You may find yourself with tears in your eyes, too.

This is how I tell it. Please refer to Genesis 29 for accuracy.

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Desperate Desire to Heal

By | Charlotte's Blog, Emotional Abuse | No Comments

I had a desperate desire to heal and leave it all behind me. ~ Charlotte Chaney https://charlottessoul.comTriggers of Pain, Human Response and God’s Grace, Mercy and Promises

I suffered emotional abuse for nearly 28 years.

It is hard for me to fathom today. I am sharing a journal entry written after I fled the toxic environment. I cried out to God for healing and forgiveness of my soul. I see now, less than two years later, how His provision surpassed anything I could have imagined.

The torment associated with loss and rejection was unbearable. I had a desperate desire to heal and leave it all behind me. I look back from a new place, where those feelings and reactions to triggers are a distant memory. I stand in awe of God and what He has done in spite of me. I praise God from my core and believe he keeps His promises.

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Remembering What God has Brought Me Through, Steadies My Feet

By | Emotional Abuse | No Comments

I had to put one foot in front of the other and be thankful for what I had, regardless of my trials.Can you imagine walking through a supernaturally separated river, revealing a path of dry land?

After the trauma of severe plagues, the nation of Israel was on a massive relocation to somewhere completely unknown. Talk about trauma! When forty years of exile ended, it was time to enter the Promised Land, passing by the Red Sea.

You can imagine people experiencing spiritual, emotional, environmental, and physical triggers. Doubt, fear, fatigue and facts set into their minds and separated them from what they knew to be true about God.

Don’t we all fall victim to the same unbalance in our faith journey?

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Passive Aggression: The Isolating of Your Soul

By | Charlotte's Blog, Emotional Abuse | No Comments

I allowed my husband's authority, his lack of respect for my uniqueness and my longing to be accepted to damage the foundation of who I was designed to be. - Charlotte Chaney #https://charlottessoul.comEmotional abuse has many facets. Passive aggression is a primary weapon.

When someone knows in their gut that something is wrong, yet they are made to feel foolish when questioning the situation, they are likely facing passive aggression.
Two Signs of Passive Aggression

  1. If someone in your life does not validate your feelings, that is wrong! Feelings are not facts – but feelings are valid.
  2. Often one partner will begin to ostracize another from family and friends. Long term this slowly damages long-term relationships.
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Emotional Abuse: Are You Empowering Someone Who Loves Power?

By | Charlotte's Blog, Emotional Abuse | One Comment

Many of us step from our insecurities into a “safe” environment with someone whom we hope will satisfy our deep longings.

We feel we have finally found the person who will be the cure-all for our hidden wounds.

We find ourselves empowering someone who loves power.

We lose ourselves in the illusion of their strength and the pretense of their care.

We are much stronger than we know, and they are far more insecure than we realize.

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