Many of us hear about family rifts and estrangements and wonder, “What is up with those people?”, “What could be so bad?”
My former father-in-law was an engineer and I never really understood him until I remarried an engineer of my own. I am of the brain-set that coloring within the lines ruins the masterpiece. Being married to an engineer (who loves me just the way I am) has opened my eyes to the mind of a man I once loved so much and sadly lost touch with in my divorce.
If you knew how anxious I have been about my impending European vacation with 4 of our 8 children, you’d be like, wait a minute, really?
God was the only one in the room when they shut the vault and filled me with radiation. Others were there but only watching from the camera that connected the rooms, but God was enough.
She suggested that my new husband, Bryan, saved me. Nothing could be further from the truth.
I was saved way before I met Bryan. My salvation came during very dark, lonely, agonizing days in my first marriage. Looking back, I know God allowed this dark time to be the means to an end. God wanted me to reach out to Him for His saving grace. Even after my salvation, I prayed hard and fervently for God to fix my marriage. But, God did not change my circumstances. Instead, He revealed to me that He’s with me in every storm I face.
It is my firm belief that God has designed a vision for your life that lives in your soul. It reveals itself as a desire, a hope or a dream. Many children are bold and confident about their vision. They state:
“I’m going to be a firefighter”
“I’m going to be president.”
“I’m going to be a singer.”
Or, “I’m going to be a ballerina.”
All too often, their dreams get interrupted with practical statements from loved ones, bullying proclamations from peers, or the whisper of the devil himself who says, “you don’t really think you can…”
One thing I have learned recently is that we fear things we don’t understand, and we judge the things we fear.
When I heard that statement, it resonated with me.
Times are rapidly changing. The topic of homosexuality has caused great fear in the hearts and minds of many fundamental Christians. The fearful response has sinfully replaced the faithful response which otherwise says in
1Peter 4:8, “Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.”
In my opinion, this delights the devil. Consequently, the church steadily drives many people away from Christ through die-hard judgement of issues like divorce and homosexuality.
I find Christians are starving for someone like me to speak up. I know the Word of God. I live a life dedicated to the one who saved me, namely Jesus. I feel prompted to come forward and announce:
“I refuse to discriminate against anyone because they are gay.”
She’s one of the wiser, matriarchs in my new church. Every time I see Linda, she makes a conscious effort to get my name right. But she has a mental block and continually says, “Rachel, right?”
She’s not short on memory, even though I gently remind her each time, “No, my name is Charlotte.” Then I ask, “May I share a story with you?”
We sat down in the pew. I began to tell her what the story of Rachel and Leah, from Genesis 29, has meant to me for years. Linda was familiar with the story. Her eyes filled with tears as soon as she realized how God was using her.
I will take a moment and share for those of you who may not be familiar with the story of Jacob’s two wives. You may find yourself with tears in your eyes, too.
This is how I tell it. Please refer to Genesis 29 for accuracy.
Triggers of Pain, Human Response and God’s Grace, Mercy and Promises
I suffered emotional abuse for nearly 28 years.
It is hard for me to fathom today. I am sharing a journal entry written after I fled the toxic environment. I cried out to God for healing and forgiveness of my soul. I see now, less than two years later, how His provision surpassed anything I could have imagined.
The torment associated with loss and rejection was unbearable. I had a desperate desire to heal and leave it all behind me. I look back from a new place, where those feelings and reactions to triggers are a distant memory. I stand in awe of God and what He has done in spite of me. I praise God from my core and believe he keeps His promises.