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Tales Around the Sunday Table; a Christian Response to Homosexuality

By | Charlotte's Blog, homosexuality, Uncategorized | No Comments

Tales Around the Sunday Table; a Christian Response to Homosexuality

When I was a little girl, my sister’s best friend’s father loved and welcomed me as his own. I was in a place in life where I needed that extra measure of care. Bill baked rectangular pizzas, in a baking sheet, and I found them to be the best! Eventually, Bill began baking pizza’s regularly (for me) on Sunday nights.

The stability that accompanied the sacrifice and commitment of the new tradition was of great value to the little girl I was. I lived in a world where I had much freedom and little grounding. At a young age, knowing Bill was making me pizza on Sunday nights was more valuable than anyone really knew.

Other people caught wind of the pizzas on Sunday nights, and like me, the budding tradition and unconditional love that was being served up drew them in too. Before long, the dinner evolved into a regular Tuesday Night meal for those who wanted to come. Bill and his family opened their home and their table for a crowd that in large part consisted of many young adults, perhaps seeking the same stability that I found around the table.

All sorts of people knew there was a seat for them; it was a gift that spanned hearts, years, generations and life events.

For a long time, I have wanted to reproduce something similar in my home; to say “We’ll have a place for you.” As my children began to grow and spend less time at home, I hoped they would always know there would be dinner served for them and whomever else would like to join us on Sunday night.

My husband, Bryan, recently met Bill on a trip back to Austin. As we fellowshipped around my mother’s dining room table that Sunday, Bryan got to hear incredible stories that developed from the Tuesday night suppers at Bills. Bryan caught the vision, and we came home with a plan for casual Sunday night dinners for people in our community.

If you would like us to include you, please let us know.

Our first dinner consisted of a motley crew; even I didn’t know everyone.

We invited a lot of people, and in the end, there were 10 of us; a perfect number, it turned out, to sit around my dining room table. We spent, what felt like hours, connecting with each other. We took turns going around the table, sharing who we are and something that made us unique. One of the first people to share was a man who had a story unlike any I had ever heard. Brought up a conservative Bible-believing Christian, he had married and had two children. His conservatism led him to serve as a politician for the Republican party. He was following the path that was set out for him until, when he was around 50 years old, he began to understand something was not right. He shared how it felt as he came to terms with the fact that he is gay.

His realization brought many painful feelings and realities. He turned to God, “Change me, God,” he implored. He didn’t want to bring pain and shame to his family. He wanted to die, to spare his loved ones from his reality. He considered ways he could commit suicide so that his loved ones would think his death was an accident and be spared the truth.

Eventually, he heard God. “I will not change you. I made you that way.”

What a shock for any Christian to hear. Many churches indoctrinate members to judge. Often evangelical churches teach us that all anyone needs is to be shown the truth in order to be led out of that sinful lifestyle.

Over the years I have heard plenty of people share about how God rescued them from homosexuality, but this was the first Christian I heard share how God comforted him, letting him know He made him that way.

Six years ago I was going through my cancer treatment when God spoke to my heart about the fact that I was judging gay people. He made it clear to me that He loves all of us identically. It was the beginning of my journey of not putting people in boxes because if their sexual orientation.

During our dinner, this man’s partner also shared his story. Another friend who is gay was at our table. Unlike the men, she knew in her teens, and she shared horrific abuse and rejection that she suffered over the years. Some of her most painful assaults came as she was forced to attend church while being prevented from participating in the Eucharist. She was publicly humiliated from the pulpit by the priest.

I have kept my love of homosexuals under wraps for a long time, for fear of being rejected by the church, as a Christian leader. Last year, however, the Lord called me to “come out,” and I did. The response was overwhelming from Christians in particular, who have children and loved ones who are gay and needed a Christian leader to stand up for LOVE!

We just had gay pride month, and that can make a lot of people uncomfortable. Even many of my gay friends choose not to associate with some of the obscenities that show up. I, for one, do not want to be associated with the hate that comes from many Christians. People cloak their hated and judgment in the standard saying “Love the sinner, hate the sin.” If you call yourself a Christian and are more concerned with scripture against lifestyles and less immersed in the overwhelming message of love, please recognize that you are not representing my faith, my God or me.

“For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you.” Matthew 7:2

If you are like me and feel the calling to love despite the teachings of many churches, have the courage and “come out.

I hope one day you’ll join our Sunday night dinner and share your story. If you are not local, make your table where people can come to feel a sense of community, no matter who they are.

1 Corinthians 13 (ESV)

The Way of Love

13 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.

 I really appreciated this book Messy Grace written by a pastor Caleb Kalenbach, who has gay parents.

 https://www.amazon.com/Messy-Grace-Parents-Sacrificing-Conviction/dp/B0186H8P5U/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1530529476&sr=1-1&keywords=messy+grace+caleb+kaltenbach

Understanding Another Person’s Perspective Can be Quite Enlightening

By | Charlotte's Blog, Parenting | No Comments

Understanding Another Person’s Perspective Can be Quite Enlightening

Oh I See!

Have you ever wondered how someone didn’t appreciate what you were doing when you saw it as an incredible contribution?

When I first met my second husband, I was shocked by the resistance I felt from his kids. From my perspective, I was bringing great things into their lives. For starters, their dad was happy. Furthermore, as a sensitive mom, I was more keen to some aspects of their needs than he tended to be without me. For example, they would tell a story and I would listen.

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True Friends and Superstars

By | Charlotte's Blog | 2 Comments

Recently I have had the unique pleasure of watching a close friend’s son come close to being the next American Idol.

It’s Jonny Brenns if you are watching; as of now, he is in the top 14!

This experience of watching Jonny shine has been marinating my soul on many different levels for the past few weeks. I have never watched American Idol before. From where I stood, I only saw the harsh and unsupportive style of Simon Cowell, the originator of American Idol. He was well-known for dissing contestants and in my opinion possibly putting an end to their dreams and calling. I simply wasn’t interested in watching any human face such harsh discouragement.

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I Can Do It By Myself!

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Mistakes are proof that you are trying.

When I was a young mother of 3 boys,

whom I had in my 20’s, within 3 ½ years, while my husband traveled extensively- I was nursing a nervous breakdown. I was a fulltime mother who felt compelled to get everything perfect.

At one point my then-husband suggested I get a nanny. I was so offended, how could anyone think a stay-at-home mom could use a nanny?

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Life After Cancer or Any Trauma

By | Cancer, Charlotte's Blog | No Comments

Crow Pose in Yoga

I’m just returning from a level 2 yoga class where I held Eagle pose and balanced in crow pose for a bit.

It’s been almost seven years since I found out I had stage 3 rectal cancer.

When you read my book you will see all the emotions I experienced after the initial colposcopy, receiving a diagnosis, struggling with alternative treatments vs. conventional, as well as realizing an ostomy bag was part of the process.  I endured six months of chemotherapy, post radiation, and surgery. You will also see what it was like to be 42 with four sons and miss out on a year of life. By the grace of God, I documented it in a very colorful way, and people all over are reading about the journey and growing in their faith and inner strength.

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Are You Worth It?

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You are worth more than you think.

A lie that one is likely to believe in an abusive situation is, “You are not worth it.”

Most likely the abuser, or addict, believes they are not of value, so they project their self-loathing onto others. If one already possesses a rather low self-image, there is likely little within, to stand firm and say, “You are wrong!” Instead, one is likely to slowly believe the sick individual, to whom they have given great credence, in hopes of perhaps finding their own significance.

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Addiction Affects More Than the Addict

By | Abuse, Addiction/Codependnecy, Charlotte's Blog | No Comments

We are all coming to see, and tragically many of us experience the destructive force of drugs.

They are killing and imprisoning those we love at a devastating rate.
What is not spoken about enough, is the ruins addiction injects into the family unit.

If you are connected emotionally with someone who is self-medicating, you are in need of treatment as much as they are! I know this doesn’t make sense. You are likely feeling out of control, angry, and reacting in ways that cause you to feel shame and regret for your behavior. It is crazy making. You are hiding something in hopes it will go away-it will not!

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A SEEP Reflection for 2017

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A SEEP Reflection for 2017

I have decided to do a little reflecting, in hopes that you will follow my lead and do your own reflecting. Many of us are very hard on ourselves, and we point out our flaws regularly. Taking a few moments to let the truth of how we have grown override the reminders of how we’ve fallen short is one way of combating the negativity in our mind. Perhaps you aren’t as wrapped up in your own failings, but the decisions of others are seemingly destroying your peace. Taking time to acknowledge the accomplishments, as well as growth, will help. It is essential to take time and ponder growth, past, and future.

I will model the S~E~E~P™ method.

S~Spiritual

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Soul Work for Cancer – A Chapter for Your Review

By | Charlotte's Blog | No Comments

I find worry to be a foolish waste of time; it accomplishes nothing, disregards the power of prayer, and takes a toll on us physically. ~Charlotte Chaney

I am on the cusp of rereleasing my debut book under its new title, Soul Work for Cancer: Living a Life Interrupted by Cancer.

I decided to post a teaser this week with the first chapter. You can purchase the book at my website or on Amazon (Coming Soon).

Please Pray for/Worry about Me

July 1, 2011

I find myself offended when I hear, “I’m worried about you.” I should take the comment as, “You matter to me and I sincerely care about your circumstances,” but all too often, I flat out reject those words.

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That’s Not Fair! Feeling Invalidated but Moving Forward

By | Charlotte's Blog | No Comments

judged

Recently, someone I love was misrepresented to a judge as I sat by helplessly. The opposing counsel steadily focused on their goal, to win for their client.

I wanted to scream, “That’s a lie, that’s is inaccurate!” I was to sit quietly and respectfully in my seat like everyone else.

I think about all the people who feel misrepresented by government leaders. It is maddening when others are making decisions, without the full story. You may adamantly oppose the outcome, and yet it affects you. Someone is setting things in place that are out of your control.

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Greeted With a Smile

By | Charlotte's Blog | 4 Comments

I grew up surrounded by smiles
We take for granted our access to clean water, HVAC systems, and food, but recently I have realized there was something else I take for granted. I grew up surrounded by smiles. I never understood what a precious gift that was.

I would have to say every single time I have seen my mother over the last 48 years; there has been a clear message that she loves me. Indeed, there were times of great trial, but I can assure you I have always known her love for me. In many ways, this is because she acknowledges my presence in a genuinely caring way. Whether it is “Good morning,” when I wake up, “hello” as I walk into a room, or the way she can’t wait to see me when arriving home from being away.

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Taming Emotional Landmines

By | Charlotte's Blog | 2 Comments

taming emotions

Once I left an emotionally abusive household, I began to realize the impact that my environment had on my sharp reactions to emotional triggers. Often people will stay in a toxic environment where they experience invalidation of feelings and distortion of the truth. Oppressive environments cause people reflect character traits that are not true to themselves. The behavior is a symptom of toxic environments.

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Gratitude: The Great Healer

By | Charlotte's Blog | No Comments

I used to resent the fact that I was from a broken home

 I used to resent the fact that I was from a broken home.

Over the years I have become grateful for my blended family and the steps my parents took to find and model happiness.

My parents were not perfect, but they both possess the gift of gratitude. Regardless of the situations, we faced over the years, that attitude of appreciation made painful conditions smoother

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