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Emotional Abuse: Are You Empowering Someone Who Loves Power?

By | Charlotte's Blog, Emotional Abuse | No Comments

Many of us step from our insecurities into a “safe” environment with someone whom we hope will satisfy our deep longings.

We feel we have finally found the person who will be the cure-all for our hidden wounds.

We find ourselves empowering someone who loves power.

We lose ourselves in the illusion of their strength and the pretense of their care.

We are much stronger than we know, and they are far more insecure than we realize.

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Stepping Into the Vast Unknown

By | Charlotte's Blog | No Comments

Whatever the future held, I was going to be free! #https://charlottessoul.com #CharlottesSoulThe day I signed a one-year lease to rent a condo,

after 22 years of fighting for my marriage, marked the first step I took towards actively caring for my emotions. It is astounding now, to look back, I realize how beaten down I was. I can’t imagine the courage and the faith I had, to step into an unknown future. All I knew was I could not take another lap around the cycle of emotional abuse and whatever the future held I was going to be free. As much as it would hurt to divide our family of six, staying and continuing the lie, was not just killing me, but it meant modeling abusive behavior. I was paving the road for future generations. I wanted more for my daughter in laws. I made a move for them as much as for myself.

Two years later, I assess where I am, the quality of my life and the breadth of my witness. I remarried a man of God who treasures me, models for my children how to love and care for a woman while being every bit of a strong, decisive leader. God planted me in a new town, where I have a vibrant social life, an incredible church, new family, and friends surround me.

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The Ants Go Marching In

By | Charlotte's Blog | 6 Comments

My departure would mean the end of a dream. Today I am going to share a glimpse of how my life was, as I struggled to decide whether to leave the emotional abuse in my former home.

My departure would mean the end of a dream.

It would mean the disintegration of my intact family, which I had poured my heart into for 22 years. I faced the uncertainty of not knowing if by leaving, I was stepping out of God’s will. I knew divorce would lead to the inevitable demotion from any church leadership with which I was involved.

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Beaten with Flowers

By | Charlotte's Blog | 2 Comments

Sometimes, recognizing the passive-aggressive manipulation, can take a life time.

This week I have decided to share a journal entry written the summer after I first moved out of my marital home. That summer, before I met my new husband, was a time when I regularly processed many things through the gift God gave me in writing. What I went through is not unique, but my faith and resilience are evident, as they were in “Heartbeats for Cancer.”

I intend to share more of this journey and how it felt to break free from emotional abuse, despite the urging of the church to stay in my toxic marriage. What I experienced is all too common. It is a darkness that needs to be exposed to support other abuse victims and their families, especially in the church. Many people stay under the misunderstanding that it is God’s will to uphold the institution of marriage despite the brutality pointed towards their soul.

13 But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible,
14 for anything that becomes visible is light. Ephesians 5:13

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