The value of an authentic friendship is priceless but we can't expect our friendships to be all things. We must take care of our selves so we can have mutually supportive relationships.
This is my best friend, Katie.
Our relationship started when our pastor was spontaneously led to pray for Katie’s family in the middle of a praise song one Sunday morning, shortly after her husband passed away in 2019. She was 30, raising one of his sons and their three-year-old daughter, suddenly facing life as a young widow.
I was moved to walk across the church and lay hands on the young mother. I never dreamed she’d become my best friend.
With 20 years between us, different backgrounds, and unique ideas, we are learning from each other, and becoming more accepting of ourselves. We have many similarities as humans, as women and mothers, although our circumstances can be worlds apart.
We’d miss our incredible bond if we allowed our differences to keep us apart. When we focus on the external, we lose what matters: trust and consistency in someone you know values your soul. We love each other to the core, even if we don’t have the surface stuff all figured out.
We are recovering people-pleasers who have found a support system in finding our best selves- for God’s sake. We are leaders who want to be there for others while maintaining integrity and avoiding being worn down by drama.
Usually, at the same time, Katie and I find ourselves in funky emotional pits with too much stuff in our heads that needs to be processed. Because of the inevitable synchronicity of our emotions, we do not serve as the person to lean on when down. We understand our capacity and honor our friendship, which is not currently providing such support. We know God is always there.
It’s not a fairweather friendship, but it’s well-defined.
Katie is a single mom working two jobs. She lost her husband when their daughter was three. She has been such an asset to the McHenry Dollar General as she works harder than most. Her creativity and drive for detail make her valuable everywhere. After completing her associate’s degree, she postponed her acceptance to WVU in exchange for being present for her daughter’s formative years. Then, she completed the challenging coursework and licensing required to become a Maryland licensed realtor at Taylor Made with my husband, making our friendship all the more enjoyable. Follow her at @dclhomegirl.
As a single mom, she’s showing up for the girls on her daughter’s cheer team and has begun a single’s ministry at her church. I am so proud of Katie and grateful to have a best friend who gets me just the way I am, as I do her.
Bryan and I value the family God had provided for such a time as this.