Do you remember Tom Cruise jumping on the couch declaring he was going to “forever” be in the honeymoon phase with his then fiancé, now ex-wife Katie Holmes?
I have no doubt he 100% meant it, but the fact is feelings don’t last. That’s what I have to be aware of right now as I’m enjoying a honeymoon with God. We haven’t been this tight since well before my cancer diagnosis July 1, 2011. He’s never changed, but clearly I ebb and flow.
In the past my closeness with Him has come from suffering. For years I have gone to God for the things I longed for. I learned a lot about Him in my darkest days. It was the seasons of great pain that got me so close to God, that when I was diagnosed with cancer, I knew what to expect from the Great Provider, The Lover of My Soul. Even though I could not feel Him as I was on that journey, He had proven Himself to me. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that He would provide.
I was quite surprised to be experiencing this honeymoon with Him now. He knows my heart so well, all the effort and sacrifice I have made. He knows the lack of compassion I am receiving from some individuals, in none other than the evangelical church, and He’s held every tear. He’s lavishing me with blessings.
I am not jumping up and down on the couch suggesting we are going to be in the Honeymoon phase forever, just like His closest disciples, sadly I will turn from Him when fear and self consciousness creep in. Just like His disciples, He will still use me and adore me even when I betray Him or hurt those He loves. Oh how I wish I were more like Him, but I am still being refined until That Day. He knows that, and He loves me. What kind of love must that be?
Do you know how valuable you are to Him? You realize I didn’t earn His love, right? He loves us because we are His children, His creation. Do you realize that no matter how awful you think you are, He adores you? Don’t take my word for it; take His.
3 the LORD appeared to him from far away.
I have loved you with an everlasting love;
therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you.